This is a blog about nothing...and everything. Unfortunately, those titles were taken.

DISCLAIMER: This is not an educational blog. The blogger bears no responsibility for any consequences should the reader be stupid enough to take seriously or actually attempt anything suggested herein. The opinions expressed in this blog reflect no one's, least of all the blogger's. If you must comment, please do it under your breath where all the best opinions are expressed. This blog is intended for personal use only (mine, not yours you idiot).

And so... today's topic. So you bought a bottle of cheap rose at Costco. Now what?
If you are like me, and I can assure you that is unlikely, you are trying to fill a bar area with bottles of wine. Let's just say there was extensive remodeling with the thought that we were different people and actually had friends that we might entertain in some not too distant future. Perhaps they reside in a galaxy far, far away. Anyway, this illusion faded quickly but the expansive bar area with the wall of wine storage remains. Now we like us some nice wine but the aforementioned remodeling set us back a good penny so good wine, wine over $15 a bottle, has become a bit out of reach. I had 48 slots to fill and also we generally will drink one or two bottles over a weekend (you do the math-I can't- too drunk). Rose is delightful in the summer, neither red nor white, here nor there but a drink for the definitively ill-defined. I'm guessing that's you. Along with cabs, zins, some chards, pinots and the like I spotted some rose. Lots of pretty colors. Like all wine purchases under $20 this was a crap shoot. You rolls the dice, you takes your chances.
Now someone out there must have a mathematical formula for statistically predicting the likelihood that any bottle of wine will be worth opening. There are people whose job it is to figure these things out. Then they keep it to themselves, the bastards. If I had that formula I might have stopped at two bottle of rose instead of purchasing three. I can tell you now what the formula is; one out of three bottles of cheap rose will suck. I believe this formula applies to all varietals but my research continues. Don't say I never taught you anything  and remember to read the disclaimer at the top of this blog.
So I opened a bottle of  rose that was sour, flabby and with no discernible nose (if not for that last part it could have been my ex husband). My current husband insists I have a problem with throwing things away. He is quite likely right but I have no good excuse for this. I am not a child of the Great Depression just the Great Recession (you remember, the 70's?). It irks me to waste money so I created a recipe that I am going to share with you,  you lucky, lucky reader.

Strawberry Sangria

1. Take the remains of a bad bottle of rose: a caveat here; must be bad, please don't inflict this on a good bottle of wine. Now how much this will be will vary.  If you are like me, it may take two glasses to decide that yes, this is as bad as you thought at first swallow. Hope springs eternal or at least two glasses worth. 
2. Pour the remaining offending swill in a pitcher and add between one and two ounces of brandy. Add a good splash of blood orange bitters (if you don't have this ingredient you are to be pitied), and then take a handful of strawberries and puree them with a handful of sugar in your ridiculously overpriced and overpowered Vitamix. 
3. Wipe the strawberry sludge from the ceiling since you didn't get that cap on tight enough and add the juice of one lime. Pour over crushed ice, add some sliced strawberries for garnish and enjoy!